♠ Final Day to Say Goodbye

It's the final day of the funeral.

The sky was bright. Everybody said it was a gift from grandma, blessing us with bright blue day.

I nodded in agreement.

I believe in the bond of blood and marriage; that family's just the strongest anchor anybody can have.

I was always never sure if I was a grounded enough person, but after coming to Singapore, I guess, I've come in term with myself.

That instead of searching for a rock, I've in the end, become a rock. And it's not that bad of a deal.

♠

The church members helped to carry her coffin out and put it on a van.

I remembered the day before, when mum and the siblings dressed up grandma for the last time.

I asked eldest aunt if I and a cousin of mine, if we could put on her stockings and shoes for her, cos I was thinking since we've came back so far for her, we might as well do something for her. She said ok.

And as we put on her last clothing, I remembered silently telling my grandma to rest in peace and let us, the new generations to toil. That she should take a rest now, grandpa's waiting for her and so on.

♠

The group for the funeral was pretty big, and we still had to combine with another group in another town.

There were two pastors praying for grandma. She'd have loved it.

There were even kids from schools who would join in the walking procession; old tradition in small town. It was really nice, considering it was a saturday.

After the group photos, we all boarded into the vehicles and drove off to another town for the funeral procession.

♠

It was a long ride in the car, I reminiscent the times when my dad would drove us back to Bintangor, while we'd entertain ourselves by eating or disturbing one another in the back of the car or just dozing off.

I remembered sitting there trying to capture the images of the day. I was the designated camera person, I hoped I had captured some really good tasteful photos.

♠

When we arrived, the crowd had gathered at a stadium in the center of the town.



The thing bout small town is everybody knows everybody.

So the crowd was pretty big, not as big as my grandpa's I remembered, but awfully large considering.



I walked at the last of the family procession, trying to catch the crowds.

We walked around the town; the walk had gotten shorter as years gone by. I remembered a longer walk, perhaps it was my first funeral, or christmas procession. Hmm..too dim a memory, except for the memories of the blisters.

When the procession finished, we drove to the cemetary.

Years back I remembered the lorries. Now they've upgraded to vans.

Some tradition just got upgraded, I guess. It serves better for rainy days.

Then the church members carried grandma, if long ago, the sons would be the carrier.

♠

Blue skies accompanied us as we walked towards grandpa's resting place.

Grandpa and grandma had prepared a tomb for themselves when they lived. Grandpa had plane built for his mother, but his own tomb, guessed grandma had a say in it.

The second pastor said prayers and sang a song of praise.

I remembered him as the pastor from a church I used to go to when I was in my teen, seems he'd moved to my grandparents' town.

Then all my grandparents' children would kneel and paid their last respect.

And removed the white cloth from their shoulder and replaced it with red. I guess it's to signify some sort of celebration of life. Each family members will be given a red cloth.

Then we walked back to the town where all those who had joined the procession shall go for lunch.

♠

Mum and the siblings went home to place grandma's picture next to grandpa.

Many times I've stood by this gate, many memories I had of my childhood.

My cousin followed them back since he mentioned he had not been back for a long time.

I didnt make the trip coz they'd have to make a few more rounds of motorcycle rides, and there's a lot of people in the express boat.

The ferrypoint. I remembered one Chinese New Year where we were waiting for the boat to go back to the town.

And my sis dropped my handbag into the river and dad fished it out using a stick during one chinese new year. It was a hightide day.

I remembered the stray dogs, the bicycle and motorcycle shade, the wooden hut where me and lawas aunt used to shade against the rain one sunny day, a few houses along the way where grandma would bring me to collect ang pows. I also managed to meet an old friend here; somebody from back in high school.

Ah..the boat do brings back memories; they've upgraded from a previously smaller wooden one.





The last boat reminded me of a trip from Sibu / Kuching back to Sarikei / Bintangor. I was with my mum going for my monthly eye checkups, and mum met an uncle of hers who offered her a trip back home. The boat was a lot bigger and made of steel and carries large cargoes.

We stayed in a cabin where I slept on the top bunk while mum tried to fight against the nausea in the lower bunk. She never really got her sea legs.

We bought some juices, I remembered oranges, and some food.

As night came and passed, I remembered it was one hell of an adventure for a small town girl like me with my imaginations running wild.

I never got much sleep on the top bunk; more wide-eye dreaming as I laid on my back and trying to keep my pee in cause the toilet's kinda far and it was really dark on the outside. I even skipped bath. I was that excited..

Morning came, and I remembered groggily walking onto the wharf.

Years later, mum told me the uncle passed on due to some accident on the boat.

I guess life's fragile.