♠ Just..

..a thought.

Time can either blunt a determination, or sharpens it.

Same for vengeance. And pain. And a good prescription for a whole lot of other things.

Time also can make one lost their sight, gain it again or lost it forever.

It's a funny thought cos what if one is, let's say; an immortal.

I'd say it'd would have blunt their sense of time cos time is relative or meaningless either way they look at it.

An immortal would've lost their sense of humanity cos they'd have seen or heard so much, wiser than most cos of what they've been through and routine would be redundant cos they'd have done everything at least once, persumably they are curious and not a hermit.

I wonder how if there's a research done by an immortal, course, each immortal's definition of their experience varies. Then can I call the internet an object of immortality for storing so much different experiences and thoughts that defies time?

Hmm..

♠ Pets

My sis was writing an article on a pet rabbit's babies.

When I read her post, the part bout the milky scent of the freshborn even when it died brings back memories; I remember the smell, it was innocence to me.

I remember another pet, didnt die, but I had to give it away personally.

I pitied that we were unable to provide the best for it; letting it stay at home all day until we arrived home and bringing it for it's much deserved walk-of-pee and dinner. And being angry at it for peeing in the house yet it's not it's fault cos if I'd been locked in the house whole day, I wouldnt be able to hold it in either. Both me and my sis were working that time, and the other owner kinda left irresponsibly.

If I'd blame, I'd blame it on naivety, ignorance and underextimation of the commitment required and unthought consequence when it was first brought home. It didnt even belonged to me in the first place, yet I walked it's evening walk most of the time.

We kinda stick it out for a couple of weeks before deciding to send it to the petshop, which my sister cowardly left me to do it. I'm more scared of it getting kidney infection.

The dog kinda grew on me, I tried holding back but it was tough, which happens if one gets familiarized with it every afternoon and evening and knows where it liked to pee best and how the dog followed me everywhere; silently and loyally. A dog truly is man's best friend; it's courageously loyal and unconditionally loving regardless of how it was treated. They seemed to forget easily.

I brought it for what would seem to it to be an innocent ride in the car; it's a dog, what do you expect.

Then when I arrived at the pet shop, I asked the shop owner if they helped to look for owners for pets and let my instinct tells me if they are good people or not.

Then when I brought it in, the dog got tensed as if knowing.

When I left, it was looking at me; trembling. I'd never forget how I felt that day.

It wasnt as easy as I'd thought it was; bring it in, check back on it couple of days. I was halfway home then I had to find a quiet spot to cry. Even if it'd found a better owner, I couldnt justify my action; abandonment is abandonment. I vowed never to take in another pet until I know for sure I'm able to be a good owner and companion.

A pet is not a plaything; it's commitment. We must walk it, feed it on time, talk to it, pat it..understand that it has feelings even if we do not speak the same language, and that we are responsible for its' wellfare. It's ironic that I say that cos some human beings dont even do that to their own family members, but treat their pets/strangers better..which I'm sure for a good reason, but reasons fade with time, then absurdity settles in, then pride..then it's a whole different ball game! I diversed.

Anyway, a pet is not a toy cos if it's forgotten, it will die or get lost or get into accidents..either way, it is always bad.

♠ The Watchmen: RORSCHACH

I love JACKIE EARLE HALEY as RORSCHACH, the right word; he nailed it.

My deepest impressions gotta be the part in the jail where he shouted at the other jailmates, "None of you seemed to understand. I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me!" in that raspy voice. The voice kinda nail the impression too.

And the part where he kicked some butt and said, "Two nothing, your move." Kickass.

And finally the part where he asked Dr Manhattan to do it. Priceless; the reluctance to be the person standing between telling the world the truth and lying to himself. He couldnt do the latter.

To think, sacrificing oneself instead of compromising one's principle and have an utter understanding of human nature; his own..it sure silenced my mind.

I personally hate the idea of human annilation for the purpose of peace cos if everybody buys the idea, then everybody is dispensable cos every else would think they should be the person alive carrying out the rest of the plan, which is selfish really cos who made them God.

RORSCHACH is imperfect, only perfect in his own definition of white and black, which is truly admirable, but I wouldnt stand 5 feet near him cos he'd be a reflection of me; an honest brutal imperfection of me which he'd tell it straight to my face whether if I want to listen or not.

To have a person like RORSCHACH in real life would be hard on the people around him. I doubt he'd be capable of giving people second chances if he thinks they are wrong.

Nonetheless, he's a fascinating figure to watch..on screen.

♠ Tomorrow is Friday

Ah..TGIF..tomorrow..

I'm on leave..

No thinking bout work..

Just me, and some free time..

Also tomorrow will be submitting the PR application..

Took the photo today..second take..

The right facet of my face is energetic looking, the left facet is comfortable looking..

I'd like to say it's a big deal, cos nothing big ever happens in my life now..

But it's just permanent residency..

But it's my first. :)

♠ Ridiculed

You know the feeling of being ridiculed?

It's like when you are trying your best and feel good cos you think you are making headways then when it comes to giving updates, you come out of the meeting room feeling ridiculed and all your efforts undermined.

I have always been pretty serious bout my work, and I wouldnt be able to get a good job if my work has been shoddy. Or to be given projects if I'd been bad at it. I'd say I've always given my best at whatever I was doing and always try to improve myself.

So, to feel bad after leaving a room..well, I'd hate it if I tell somebody and all they say is "To hell with them, it's only work.." crap cos I know I'd have the face the same thing again next week if I didnt do something different than what I'd done this week.

I'm not the type that complains bout what went wrong in my life cos at the end of the day, I'd have to face it, not the people I've complaint to. And as much as I love complaining, it never gives me any inspiration on handling it better.

All I know from now on, if should I was placed as a resource under that person, I'd never put myself out to help him/her. Cos I just dont care so much for that sort of people.

And another thing I hate most is coming home to messy house. It gotta be something to do with age.

I'm feeling really down right now, and I cant put my finger to the feeling. And I do not want to talk about it. All I need is a quiet time to think bout how I can handle it better.

I guessed the best word to describe myself right now..is being taken for granted.