♠ Introspective

I was catching up on metrodad's post the other day, and there's the questions that makes me think.

"In all seriousness, do any other parents out there fantasize about how your life would be different without kids or a spouse? If you're single or childless, are you living your life how you'd imagined? Why or why not?"

And I read all the comments given, and there's this nagging feeling that makes me throw a loop.

I'm afraid of living my life thinking "What if", cos that question's given me loads of headache due to the permutations given. Thus, I like to live my life with a clear rule on how I'd approach things; by getting them done fast after careful considerations. Cos waiting just makes me lost courage.

I dont know, but a lot of parents I know always give me the vibe "what if I'm still single / dont have kids?" They always have that longing faraway looks whenever the singles mention the things they bought or the places they been on a whim and so forth.

That look always make me question if committing in a long term relationship's worth it's time and effort and sacrifices and compromises. It sure isnt easy.

And the irony of it all, is there's always ppl asking me to commit a relationship yet themselves are not happy in it, which makes me think it's equal to a salesperson selling a product they dont use. I just dont see the point nor the inspiration.

Some ppl look at a couple of old folks walking together, and they see hope for themselves of a happily ever after. I see a couple of loving folks and all I can think of is; Wow, that's how long it gonna take me before I can reach to their level of compassion and kindness towards each other? Not comforting.

I'm not a pessimist. Just that, I guess I'm a realist..now. I know how to hope, and I know what to hope for, and happily ever after just doesnt come without effort nor compromise and loyalty. Which in this new generations I'm seeing nowadays; it's far in between.

When I'm in a relationship, I'm getting a dog. Cos if that relationship doesnt last, usually the dog will.

PS : Dont worry, mum..I've got a plan.