♠ The Learning Process

I've been learning bout living these few months.

On how to behave and putting myself as a third person and evaluate without bias perspective or thinking if I was selling myself short. It's a constant struggle.

A sr coll is teaching me some stuff which is applicable in life.

Like how the coll would tell me scenarios or stories and letting me make up my mind and understand the consequences from that. They wont tell me the black and white answer, just letting me find the answer so I can apply to subsequent support.

That makes me think that we should teach a person how to fish, and not pass the fish to the person. I never got the lesson even when I heard of the phrase, but now I think I got it. Coz I'm at the other end receiving the lesson.

So now when other colls ask me questions, I'd propose a few solutions and let them make up their own mind rather than give a straightforward answer. That'll teach independence and the person can learn from their mistake and able to grow confidence making up their mind when doing support or approaching a problem. Coz end of the day, they are the person solving it, so the faster they realise that, the easier and faster they can come up with solutions instead of waiting for other ppl.

I realise decision making is like a muscle; it needs constant practice. When we are young, we have all the time and chances to correct them and ppl tend to forgive us for our age and knowledge. When we are older, we are mostly running out of time coz expectations are higher and ppl expects us to learn our lessons already.

When I was young, I'd be too afraid of making decisions coz I dont want to be labeled stoopid. Now I realise, not making decisions is making a decision. Not doing anything, is also making a decision. And I kinda admire ppl who did all the stoopid decisions back when they were young coz they turn out pretty decent in later years.

I mean, take example of Mark Walhberg and Angelina Jolie. Very controversial during their youth, very settled in their later years, heck..one goes to church and the other's ambassador of goodwill. Not perfect; flawed like you and I..maybe even more so. Still, very surprising.

All I'm saying is; if you want to make bad decisions, own it up..understand the consequences. Take responsibility for it. You dont need to sing your mistakes, just keep it in mind when a similar situation happens so you'd know, one decision leads to certain consequences and make different decisions next time. And tell your story to the person who needs it, coz they need to know that they are not alone.

♠ Being Eldest

Being eldest in a family..my family, denotes making ways and forgiveness.

I've been comparing what other eldests do in their families.

The usual would be the privilege to bully the younger siblings, making orders and occasionally taking the heat for the siblings.

I do all of the above, but I dont get away with it. My siblings would complain to mum and she'd tell me to make way for them coz they are young, as I'm older therefore I should know better and forgive them.

So, I've been doing all that due to ignorance mostly. Slowly I realise, hey, we are not 8 or 12 or 18 anymore. We are now nearing the end of our twenties or early thirties.

Thus, this makes me wonder; Should I make way again if a sibling behaves out of line or disrespectful. I dont think so.

As adults, I think it's a responsibility to not behave like a selfish person and try our damnest best to put ourselves in other ppl's shoes and try to be as considerate as possible. Like caring for one another's feelings and try to listen more than talk and reflect on that.

I dont think that all those years of being siblings and making bad behaviour and getting away with it would be easily forgiven as we grow older.

In fact, my memory gets better and I kind of becoming less ignorant.

I can say no to making ways. I can stop forgiving repeatitive misgiving behaviours. I can choose to stop being considerate or care for the person.

Having blood relationship doesnt give a person any right to react selfishly and think of "I" and take family relationships for granted. "Us" must always come first, or else a team will break.

The privilege with younger siblings is they got the eldest and parents watching out for them.

I wonder who's watching out for the eldest. GOK.

♠ I dont know and I dont want to know.

Such simple phrases; former used by ignorants, latter used by blockheads.

Combine both, and they can topple a nation.